Children Instead of Pugilists.

This one might get Mossad after me.....or maybe I'll get a kick-ass fatwa against me. That would be kick-ass.

Diplomacy was once the arena of gentlemen. One could go into the diplomatic service with hopes of helping their country, perhaps even helping the world. Former aristocrats with ties all over the world used those ties and their considerable influence to shape the way nations interacted with each other.

Charles Maurice de Talleyrand, despite his many flaws, kept France from being torn apart and pillaged after Napoleons defeat at Waterloo. John Adams helped build the United States through diplomatic talks with European nations. He also had a hand in the Declaration of Independance and in convincing a number of the original British colonies to join the American revolution.

My oh my, how things have changed.

Instead of discussion, rebuttal and eventually resolving an issue, a new tactic of "I'm taking my ball and going home" seems to have taken over.

This week, the U.N. hosted a summit on racism. As a way of getting off to a bad start, the United States, Canada, Austria, New Zealand, Italy, Germany, Poland and the Netherlands all stated they would not attend. Their concern is that the summit would be dominated by unfair criticism of Israel and its policies toward Palestinians.

During a speech by Irans president, several more delegates left.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not here to defend the quite mad president of Iran. However,I've also got beef with some Israeli policies. That is not the point of this little rant though.

My argument is with those countries who were too sensitive or too weak stomached to sit through a propaganda speech by a a man who is essentially second in command in the country he's president of.

Since when is the best response to lies and fabrication, to give the man the floor and offer no response to his slinging of bullshit? Would you do that in your life? If someone was taking shots at your mother, would you leave the room and say nothing, or would you call them on it?

Screw that, the western world is taking their ball and going home.

I've got an idea why this kind of thing goes uncontested. Everyone's got dirty laundry and nobody wants it aired in public. Think about it. Does the U.S. really want to sit and have a frank discussion on racism in the world? Do you think everyone would just pass over that whole slavery thing? Would anybody mention how fun it is going through a western airport if you're brown or wearing a turban?

Not to pick on the U.S., there are plenty of other countries in the same boat. I wonder if anyone would mention the fact that Canadas first nations people have lower life expectancy and a greater level of poverty than other canadians? Hey, how about that Dutch MP Geert Wilders whose hobbies include making anti-islam hate films? Isn't that cute.

Someone's got to take the lead on this kind of thing. The Americans elected a black president for christs sake, but they can't stand up and mention that, because they're too afraid of getting a black mark from something else they've done. Nobody is willing to get into an honest discussion on the issue because there is not a country in the world that isn't guilty.

The word "hijacked" has been thrown around in reference to this summit and the pres. of Iran. Is it really a hijacking if the crew of the ship jumps overboard at the first sign of trouble? No it's abandonment.

The worlds leaders say they want to fight racism but they should know that in any fight, you're likely to take a few on the jaw before you win.

Take your lumps, then you can gloat like a champ if you win. Instead of only betting on a sure thing.

Unhappy Hour.

This piece is something I wrote on my facebook page a while ago. I fired it off in a rage after the Alberta government put in place new rules about liquor pricing and sales in bars. I was angry and after writing it, sent a copy to the Premiers office.

I've since had a few people ask me to post it on here. Here it is, back by popular demand.......or at least one demand.

Unhappy hour.

Ed Stelmach is not my mother. My mother is far smarter and way better looking (Just ask my friends, they make several jokes about this on a regular basis). However it would seem that Ed disagrees with me.

For those of you wondering what I'm talking about, let me explain. Starting Aug. 1st, the province of Alberta will be introducing minimum drink prices at all bars. That's not all, they're also regulating the length of "Happy Hour" across the province, as well as limiting the number of drinks you can purchase after 1am.

It is said this is being done in order to curb "binge drinking" (4 or more drinks in 2 hrs or less) and violence outside of bars. I have several problems with this.

1.) I'm sorry Ed, it's none of your god damned business how much I choose to drink. Unless I'm causing a problem, which I never have, you have no right telling me how much I can or can't have. That's why bars aren't supposed to continue serving people who are obviously to twisted to control themselves. If bars aren't doing their job, that's not my fault. Fine the bars.

2.) If binge drinking is defined as having 4 or more drinks in 2 hours, then I binge drink every time I'm on a golf course, playing baseball, trying to beat the summer heat, reading alone in my apartment, struggling through a bad date, or having/attending a birthday party. Are you gonna police the golf course Ed?

3.) Regardless of how much you drink, some people are just assholes. I don't care if they've had 2 drinks or 52, some meat heads, or lady meat heads, are gonna wanna fight a total stranger for stepping on their shoes or looking at their significant other. We don't legislate against stupidity or aggressiveness do we?

4.) This will not stop binge drinking, it will only stop people with limited money from binge drinking. To tell you the truth, most people that go out and put away two bottles of rye in 6 hours, have the money to do it and don't really give a shit if their drinks are an extra buck or two. Most of the people I've been out with on "cheap drink nights" are out that night because otherwise they couldn't afford to go out, not because they're drinking more than usual. Who's more likely to cause trouble, the guy with $40 to spend at the bar, or the guy who spends $300 and then picks up and eight-ball for an extra $160? Price isn't the problem, people are.

5.) I drink swill. When you find something incredibly cheap at the bar/liquor store and wonder, "who in gods name drinks this piss?" the answer is Rory McNally. Why should I have to pay extra for D grade wood alcohol just because random morons can't handle their liquor or like to fight. This is a license for bars to serve cheap garbage and not have to lower their prices, because they're not allowed to.

That's it. This is my cause. Some people choose the environment, others choose peace protests. This is the kind of thing I can not stand. If it makes you as nuts as it does me, give my mother Ed a shout at (780) 427 2251. Or send him an e-mail through the following web page. You better believe I sent him this whole thing.

http://premier.alberta.ca/contact/

By the way Ed, I just picked up a 6 pack for under 8 dollars, and I'm gonna polish it in about 2 hours tops. That's two for two, better send the cops, I'm your prime target.

Natural Selection Working Double Time.

Colour me a cold hearted bastard but I'm rooting for the bear.

This won't be long but it will certainly be heartfelt.

Anyone dumb enough to put themself in this situation deserves what mother nature dishes out. I see this as a good sign for two reasons.

Polar bear habitats and numbers are both shrinking. They're having difficulty reaching their usual food sources due to melting sea ice and other climate concerns. This is a shame as I find polar bears to be one of the coolest animals on this rock we call home.

Meanwhile, the population and habitats of fat, stupid tourists seem to be ballooning to unheard of numbers. If you were to put together all the overused couches, recliners and futons in the world, I am quite certain the square mileage would dwarf that of sea ice in the north.

I'm of the opinion that this is not a random act of stupidity or animal v. dumb-ass violence. I believe this is science at work. This friends, is natural selection at it's finest. No longer able to find or catch the seals required to feed them, Polar Bears have found new places to live and a new food source to sustain them.

Think about the tiny polar bear cub, from another german zoo, that was in the news a year or two ago. It was the biggest draw at the zoo. It was the cutest animal anyone had ever seen. Everyone wanted to cuddle with little Knut, the worlds most swoon inspiring born killer.

Now skip ahead to this week. A tourist voluntarily hops into the Polar Bear enclosure. If she was looking for a cuddle or a photo op, no one seems to know. However, she WILLINGLY JUMPED INTO A CLOSED PEN WITH A GOD DAMNED BEAR.

We've been duped by bears. It's come to this. Man, the great shaved ape, has become so dumb and sure of our own superiority that we can be tricked by a fucking bear.

"Look at me, I'm a cute cuddly 1500 pound carnivore. In fact, I'm the largest land carnivore on the planet. Don't you want to kiss my nose?"

CHOMP!!!

Have we really sunk this low? I understand if someone is stalked, hunted and killed by a wild beast. That's what they do, it's their lot in life. Those are the things they're good at. The difference is, they are taking over what WE are supposed to be good at. Man defeated the beast by building traps, setting ambushes and generally out thinking those creatures which were bigger and more deadly than we were.

Now we appear to be losing that ability.

The bigger, stronger, meaner and more deadly animals are also apparently smarter than some of us and all it took was looking like a plush toy.............with bear teeth.

Death to the stupid!!

Viva la Polar Bear!!