This piece is something I wrote on my facebook page a while ago. I fired it off in a rage after the Alberta government put in place new rules about liquor pricing and sales in bars. I was angry and after writing it, sent a copy to the Premiers office.
I've since had a few people ask me to post it on here. Here it is, back by popular demand.......or at least one demand.
Unhappy hour.
Ed Stelmach is not my mother. My mother is far smarter and way better looking (Just ask my friends, they make several jokes about this on a regular basis). However it would seem that Ed disagrees with me.
For those of you wondering what I'm talking about, let me explain. Starting Aug. 1st, the province of Alberta will be introducing minimum drink prices at all bars. That's not all, they're also regulating the length of "Happy Hour" across the province, as well as limiting the number of drinks you can purchase after 1am.
It is said this is being done in order to curb "binge drinking" (4 or more drinks in 2 hrs or less) and violence outside of bars. I have several problems with this.
1.) I'm sorry Ed, it's none of your god damned business how much I choose to drink. Unless I'm causing a problem, which I never have, you have no right telling me how much I can or can't have. That's why bars aren't supposed to continue serving people who are obviously to twisted to control themselves. If bars aren't doing their job, that's not my fault. Fine the bars.
2.) If binge drinking is defined as having 4 or more drinks in 2 hours, then I binge drink every time I'm on a golf course, playing baseball, trying to beat the summer heat, reading alone in my apartment, struggling through a bad date, or having/attending a birthday party. Are you gonna police the golf course Ed?
3.) Regardless of how much you drink, some people are just assholes. I don't care if they've had 2 drinks or 52, some meat heads, or lady meat heads, are gonna wanna fight a total stranger for stepping on their shoes or looking at their significant other. We don't legislate against stupidity or aggressiveness do we?
4.) This will not stop binge drinking, it will only stop people with limited money from binge drinking. To tell you the truth, most people that go out and put away two bottles of rye in 6 hours, have the money to do it and don't really give a shit if their drinks are an extra buck or two. Most of the people I've been out with on "cheap drink nights" are out that night because otherwise they couldn't afford to go out, not because they're drinking more than usual. Who's more likely to cause trouble, the guy with $40 to spend at the bar, or the guy who spends $300 and then picks up and eight-ball for an extra $160? Price isn't the problem, people are.
5.) I drink swill. When you find something incredibly cheap at the bar/liquor store and wonder, "who in gods name drinks this piss?" the answer is Rory McNally. Why should I have to pay extra for D grade wood alcohol just because random morons can't handle their liquor or like to fight. This is a license for bars to serve cheap garbage and not have to lower their prices, because they're not allowed to.
That's it. This is my cause. Some people choose the environment, others choose peace protests. This is the kind of thing I can not stand. If it makes you as nuts as it does me, give my mother Ed a shout at
(780) 427 2251
. Or send him an e-mail through the following web page. You better believe I sent him this whole thing.http://premier.alberta.ca/
By the way Ed, I just picked up a 6 pack for under 8 dollars, and I'm gonna polish it in about 2 hours tops. That's two for two, better send the cops, I'm your prime target.
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